Howard’s Story as told to me:
me: Ta - So where did you meet Howard - at
theater stuff?
Julie: yes met him at the Westport Playhouse
me: That is what i thought is that where you met Dylan
also
Julie: yes but Dylan worked there
me: but you were in HS right Howard did not work there?
Julie: no was just
passing through
me: and you happened to bump into him?
Julie: sort of
me: Oh hello who might you be??? tell me story.
Julie: well - it
was a Sunday show
me: yes
Julie: and every Sunday they did music
me: ok
Julie: and that particular Sunday it was
Preservation Hall Jazz band and the director of the playhouse asked any of the
apprentices if they wanted to come in Sunday and work, bc technically we had
Sunday off so i volunteered and they put me doing the lights for the show
me: oh i see
Julie: so then Howard was their stage manager and had to
talk to me about the lights
so he comes back stage and he yelled
"so who is doing the lights?" and
i come out of the corner and was like "umm me"
me: um yes and talked about more then lights i suspect
Julie: and we just talked the whole night
me: yes
Julie: that was it. and we connected through email and
stuff. And then right as he left he called me and we talked for like an hour and
we just talked
me: so when were you with him - after summer
Julie: well
me: yes?
Julie: it was towards the end of the summer
me: in CT?
Julie: he was traveling a lot. So
i hardly saw him. But we talked for 3 years
me: yes
Julie: and i saw him about 8 times maybe
me: was this an intense relationship like this was about
love - real love
Julie: yes he was my
first love
me: true love?
Julie: yes first true love
me: you really fell
Julie: yes i fell
hard
me: like committed
Julie: yes - did not cheat on him except with VT
boy who took my virginity - but i told him about him
me: yes he was older than you right
Julie: yes he was 28
when i met him
me: you were 18 that summer
Julie: i was 17
me: when you met
Julie: yes
me: ok 17 when you met so when did he and you get to
first make love to each other
Julie: wait i might have been 16 summer of 2002
me: oh like baby and he 28
Julie: ok i was 16. We had sex when i was 18
me: yes an that is summer you met him
Julie: or i may have been 19
me: but he goes away so when did you first make love to
him and where
Julie: it was at his hotel in NYC downtown east village
me: 2002 you were not 19
Julie: 2002 i met him. i had sex with him when i was a freshman in
college
me: when in relation to summer
Julie: so that was 2005
me: so several yrs later
Julie: yes
me: like 3 years
Julie: yes
me: at 19 and He was 31.
Julie: it was February
me: right had already done ski boy sort of
Julie: yes
me: and is Collin around now
Julie: um yes and no i think I fucked him just after
me: kk no matter. Collin
you did not have an intense love for
Julie: no he was nice. But
it was just that he was cool and stuff but not BF material
me: So 2002 you meet Howard in Ct
Julie: yes
me: You immediately fall in love
Julie: yes
me: You keep in touch for 3 years
Julie: yes
me: till 2005 year after you graduate HS
Julie: end of my freshman year in college. i
graduated HS in 2004
me: You have lost virginity earlier
Julie: yes lost virginity the December i was a senior in
High school
me: yes 2005 is year after yes 2004. So in 2005 you finally come together with
Howard whom you love intensely
Julie: yes
me: and you meet him in hotel in NYC
Julie: yes
me: you want him badly does he make first move or do you
Julie:
we both knew it was going to happen we had dinner before
me: ok so you and he arrange ot meet each other in NYC
in Feb 2005 - after keeping in touch by email etc
And he takes you
to dinner right
Julie: it wasn’t like the first time we were meeting i saw
him times before but we never did it or did anything
me: ok
Julie: yes i meet him at a restaurant
me: so now feelings have grown more intense
Julie: yes
me: and had you made up your mind to have sex with him
this time
Julie: oh yes i brought condoms and all
me: wow Ok so you really wanted this
Julie: yes
me: hum ok. so
did you explicitly say anything to him
Julie: not really. i don’t remember
me: ok so you do go back to hotel
Julie: yes
me: and enter room then what
Julie: i told him i brought condoms and he
laughed
me: did he take you in his arms and kiss you
Julie: and then he showed me the view in the room
me: what?????????? ok
Julie: and then we made out
me: on sofa or bed
Julie: on bed we had a small room
me: kk so did he like start to strip you some shirt bra
etc
Julie: it was mutual nothing special
me: you took his clothes off first
Julie: i don’t remember
Julie: i think we helped each other
me: ok so did you like take his underpants off or did he
Julie: i think i took them down
me: and did you
take his prick in your mouth then
Julie: maybe
me: and suck on him
Julie: i really don’t remember everything
me: maybe? Ok. and he goes between your legs
Julie: yes
me: and panties are off by now
Julie: he ate me out first
me: yes
Julie: i had a thong on
me: and you were like totally over the top. did he take thong
off of you
Julie: yes
me: better that anything you have ever
experienced
Julie: it was ok
me: and you felt really good
Julie: i was still tight
me: good
Julie: i was mostly nervous
me: your hole oh
ok but liked it and him'
Julie: i didn’t really have anything to compare it to. Yes liked it and him
me: and did he nibble your clit
Julie: umm not sure
me: and tongue fuck you
Julie: don’t think he did that. i think he just licked
me: so he must be really hard by now did you put condom
on him
Julie: yes yes
me: and then he gets between your legs (did he lift them
up?)
Julie: no he did not do that
1me: oh but you were very wet
Julie: i don’t remember at that time i did not know a girl
gets wet
me: and he put his prick inside you - slowly or one
thrust
Julie: slow
me: and felt ok
Julie: it hurt
me: oh
Julie: but was ok I knew it would. i was technically a
virgin [sic]
me: only had done it hat once with ski guy???
Julie: yes only had done it once
me: so does he go slowly or fast in and out of you? Does
it get more comfortable?
Julie: he does it slowly
me: um and for you this is a pretty defining moment BC
this is someone you love it is not some experiment
Julie: ha the band is playing the 27th of March at Symphony
Hall
me: what????? his
Julie: and at the Blue Note in NYC right after that
me: wait are we still in middle of the fuck or what
Julie: hahah ok fine. it was slow. he knew what he was
dealing with
me: you
Julie: as he was climaxing he went a little faster it was
good but it hurt me
me: is he making you happy Julz
Julie: bc i was way tight - yes
he made me happy. i was still nervous around him
me: yes did he take long tome to cum - was it too long
for you
Julie: no was not too long
1me: so after he came what? did he hold you tight
Julie: yes we cuddled
me: did you sleep
Julie: yes
me: and did you stay the night
Julie: yes
me: and you did it many times
Julie: i had a dorm so did not have to answer to mommy. um no. then in the morning
me: yes what in
the morning
Julie: we did it again
me: only twice
Julie: ya
me: did
he try and fuck your ass?
Julie: yes
me:
did he then?
Julie: no did not work
me: um did you blow him that night - bj
Julie: um i think i just sucked him but he did not cum that
way
me: only inside you
Julie: yes
me: so you must have been so so happy and
content you had consummated with your lover - with someone you really really
loved very deeply
Julie: yes
me: when did you do it again?
Julie: what do you mean?
me: did you see much of him now? after this night and
morning when did you tow hook up again for sex
Julie: no we broke up
me: was he in town
WHAT????
only after this
Julie: yes he we talked for like a week then did not hear
from him
me: yes for 3 months
Julie: yes
me: oh so sorry so what were you thinking feeling
Julie: he would have called me and made an effort i
probably would not have started with Eli (much older chap she took up with after Howard )
me: yes
Julie: that he was a shit. i hated him. Could
not reach him. and i called 3 times
me: at all
Julie: and i said that i would not call anymore until he
called me
me: did you have cell for him
Julie: and he didn’t call me until like July
me: and what did he say then
Julie: like nothing happened
me: really
Julie: then i called him out on it
me: no excuse
Julie: and he said that he wanted me to explore college and
people my own age, which was why he did not call me. but this was all bull shit.
bc when he called me he wanted to get back together. but he hurt me too much i
never felt the same for him ever
me: kk. ok lets drop this one
Julie: its ok then when Hurricane Katrina hit he lost some
of his stuff but not all and the band was traveling to raise money bc they couldn’t
go back bc no one would go to their shows so they came to NYC and the trip
before that the planes lost all their luggage so Howard called and asked if he
could stay with me bc they didn’t book hotels for anyone. and i said sure. and
we slept in the same bed but i did not touch him he
tried to with me. but i would not let him near me. i was disgusted. I ended up
sleeping on the floor bc he wouldn’t stop touching me
Julie:
i mean i think he had good intentions and i don’t think he meant to hurt me but
it was just the way he presented it that was wrong
Julie: yes we talked about it too whatever it is dead and
gone
Julie: bc he
wanted me to get through school. but we did talk about it
and living together and having to deal with
him traveling
SADLY THE STORY SHE TOLD ME HERE WAS NOT UNTYPICAL OF HER MANY FUTILE RELATIONSHIPS - I OFTEN WONDERED WHERE THE FAULT LAY - IN HER OR THE OTHER...
SADLY THE STORY SHE TOLD ME HERE WAS NOT UNTYPICAL OF HER MANY FUTILE RELATIONSHIPS - I OFTEN WONDERED WHERE THE FAULT LAY - IN HER OR THE OTHER...
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