PORTRAIT OF AN AFFAIR IN CONVERSATION

PORTRAIT of AN AFFAIR

IN CONVERSATION

Part III

THE AFFAIR III

OUR PLEDGES

 &

 STORIES SHE BTOLD ME

Commitment

I pledge myself to you -

to take you as only mine and mine only.
I invest you with my love –
I give you my open heart for friendship.
I give you my openness, my trust, my whole self
I take you into my world
I ask you take me into yours
I seal you with my body. L

*******************************

I pledge my love to you eternally
I will never be your wife, daughter,
 sister or anything that constitutes a legal bond
I will be something that is much closer,
Someone who would love you like a wife
Would honor you as a daughter should,
support you as though you are my own family.
I will be all of this to you. But most of all I
Promise to give you my love in friendship. I will
Listen and understand you; kiss you and hold you.
I will carry you and be with you until the end;
 I will not rest until I know you are content and safe.
I promise to be yours forever. J

STORIES SHE TOLD ME

I. Howard’s Story – First True Love

me: Ta - So where did you meet Howard - at theater stuff?

J: yes met him at the Westport Playhouse

 me: That is what i thought is that where you met Dylan also

 J: yes but Dylan worked there

 me: but you were in HS right? Howard did not work there?

 J: no he was just passing by

 me: and you happened to bump into him?

 J: sort of

 me: Oh hello who might you be??? tell me story

 J: well it was a Sunday show

 me: yes

 J: and every Sunday they did music

 me: ok

J: and that particular Sunday it was Preservation Hall Jazz band and the director of the playhouse asked any of the apprentices if they wanted to come in Sunday and work, bc technically we had Sunday off so i volunteered and they put me doing the lights for the show

me: oh i see

 J: so then Howard was their stage manager and had to talk to me about the lights

  so he comes back stage and he yelled "so who is doing the lights?" and i come out of the corner and was like "umm me"

 me: um yes and talked about more than lights i suspect\

 J: and we just talked the whole night

 me: yes

 J: that was it. And we connected through email and stuff. And then right as he left he   called me and we talked for like an hour and we just talked

 me: so when were you with him after summer

 J: well

 me: yes?

 J: it was towards the end of the summer

 me: in CT?

 J: he was traveling a lot so i hardly saw him but we talked for 3 years

 me: yes

J: and i saw him about 8 times maybe

 me: wow worse then us so J tell me

 J: what?

 me: was this an intense relationship - like this was about love - real love

 J: yes he was my first love

 me: true love

 J: yes first true love

 me: you really fell

 J: yes i fell hard

 me: like committed

 J: yes did not cheat on him except with VT boy but i told him about him

 me: yes he was older than you right

 J: yes he was 28 when i met him

 me: you were 18  that summer

 J: i was 17

 me: when you met

 J: yes

 me: ok when you met so when did he and you get to first make love to each other

J: wait i might have been 16 summer of 2002

 me: oh like baby and he 28

 J: ok i was 16 - we had sex when i was 18

 me: yes an that is summer you met him

J: or i may have been 19

 me: but he goes away so when did you first make love to him and where

 J: it was at his hotel in NYC downtown east village

 me: 2002 you were not 19

 J: 2002 i me him. i had sex with him when i was a freshman in college

 me: when in relation to summer

J: so that was 2005

 me: so several yrs later

 J: yes

 me: like 3 years

 J: yes

 me: at 19

 J: it was February

 me: right had already done ski boy sort of

 J: yes

 me: and is Collin around now

 J: um yes and no i think he was just after. i forget

 me: kk.  no matter.  Collin you did not have an intense love for

 J: no he was nice but it was just that he was cool and stuff but not BF material

 me: So 2002 you meet Howard in Ct

 J: yes

 me: You immediately fall in love

 J: yes

 me: You keep in touch for 3 years

 J: yes

 me: till 2005 year after you graduated HS

 J: end of my freshman year in college. i graduated HS in 2004

 me: You have lost virginity earlier

 J: yes lost virginity the December i was a senior in High school

 me: yes 2005 is year after  yes 2004. So in 2005 you finally come together with Howard whom you love intensely

 J: yes

 me: and you meet him in hotel in NYC

 J: yes

 me: you want him badly does he make first move or do you

 J: hold on have to pee. we both knew it was going to happen we had dinner before

 me: great timing!!!!!!!!!!! ok i will pick up when you come back

J: ok m back

 me: ok so you and he arrange to meet each other in NYC in Feb 2005 - after keeping in touch by email etc. And he takes you to dinner right

 J: it wasn’t like the first time we were meeting i saw him times before but we never did it or did anything

 me: ok

 J: yes i meet him at a restaurant

 me: so now feelings have grown more intense

J: yes

 me: and had you made up your mind to have sex with him this time

 J: oh yes i brought condoms and all

 me: wow. k so you really wanted this

 J: yes

 me: hum ok. So did you explicitly say anything to him?

 J: not really. i don’t remember

 me: ok so you do go back to hotel

 J: yes

 me: and enter room then what

J: i told him i brought condoms and he laughed

 me: did he take you in his arms and kiss you

 J: and then he showed me the view in the room

 me: what?????????? ok

 J: and then we made out

 me: on sofa or bed

 J: on bed we had a small room

 me: kk. so did he like start to strip you some shirt bra etc

 J: it was mutual nothing special

 me: you took his clothes off first

 J: I don’t remember

 J: I think we helped each other

 me: ok so did you like take his underpants off or did he

 J: I think I took them down

me: and did you take his prick in your mouth then

J: maybe

 me: and suck on him

 J: I really don’t remember

 me: maybe?  Ok. And he goes between your legs

 J: yes

me: and panties are off by now

 J: he ate me out first

 me: yes

 J: I had a thong on

 me: and you were like totally over the top. Did he take thong off of you?

 J: yes

me: better that anything you have ever experienced

J: it was ok

 me: and you felt really good

 J: I was still tight

 me: good

 J: i was mostly nervous

 me: your hole  oh ok -  but liked it and him'

 J: I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. Yes liked it and him

 me: and did he nibble your clit

 J: umm not sure

 me: and tongue fuck you?

 J: don’t think he did that I think he just licked

 me: so he must be really hard by now so did you put condom on him

 J: yes

 me: and then he gets between your legs (did he lift them up?)

 J: no he did not do that

me: oh but you were very wet

 J: I don’t remember. at that time I did not know a girl gets wet

 me: and he put his prick inside you - slowly or one thrust

J: slow

 me: and felt ok

 J: it hurt

 me: oh

 J: but was ok.  I knew it would. I was technically a virgin. Only had done it once

  me: So does he go slowly or fast in and out of you? Does it get more comfortable?

 J: he does it slowly

 me: um and for you this is a pretty defining moment BC this is someone you love it is not some experiment

 J: ha the band is playing the 27th of March at Symphony Hall

me: what????? his

 J: and at the Blue Note in NYC right after that

 me: wait are we still in middle of the fuck or what

 J: hahah ok fine. it was slow. he knew what he was dealing with

 me: you

 J: as he was climaxing he went a little faster. it was good but it hurt me

 me: is he making you happy J?

 J: bc I was way tight.  Yes he made me happy.  I was still nervous around him

 me: yes. Did he take long to cum - was it too long for you

 J: no was not too long

me: so after he came what? Did he hold you tight?

 J: yes we cuddled

 me: did you sleep

 J: yes

 me: and did you stay the night

 J: yes

 me: and you did it many times

 J: I had a dorm so did not have to answer to mommy. Um no - then in the morning

 me: yes -  what in the morning

 J: we did it again

 me: only twice

 J: ya

 me: um  Did you blow him that night

 J: blow?

 me: blow - bj

 J: um i think i just sucked him but he did not cum that way

  me: only inside you

 J: yes

 me: so you must have been so so happy and content you had consummated with your lover - with someone you really really loved very deeply

J: yes

 me: when did you do it again?

 J: what do you mean?

 me: did you see much of him now after this night and morning when did you tow hook up again for sex

 J: no we broke up

 me: was he in town -   WHAT???? only after this

 J: yes he we talked for like a week then did not hear from him

PORTRAIT of AN AFFAIR

IN CONVERSATION

Part II

THE AFFAIR III

OUR PLEDGES

&

STORIES SHE BTOLD ME

Commitment

I pledge myself to you -

to take you as only mine and mine only.

I invest you with my love –

I give you my open heart for friendship.

I give you my openness, my trust, my whole self

I take you into my world

I ask you take me into yours

I seal you with my body. L

*******************************

I pledge my love to you eternally

I will never be your wife, daughter,

 sister or anything that constitutes a legal bond

I will be something that is much closer,

Someone who would love you like a wife

Would honor you as a daughter should,

support you as though you are my own family.

I will be all of this to you. But most of all I

Promise to give you my love in friendship. I will

Listen and understand you; kiss you and hold you.

I will carry you and be with you until the end;

 I will not rest until I know you are content and safe.

I promise to be yours forever. J

STORIES SHE TOLD ME

I.Howard’s Story – First True Love

me: Ta - So where did you meet Howard - at theater stuff?

J: yes met him at the Westport Playhouse

 me: That is what i thought is that where you met Dylan also

 J: yes but Dylan worked there

 me: but you were in HS right? Howard did not work there?

 J: no he was just passing by

 me: and you happened to bump into him?

 J: sort of

 me: Oh hello who might you be??? tell me story

 J: well it was a Sunday show

 me: yes

 J: and every Sunday they did music

 me: ok

J: and that particular Sunday it was Preservation Hall Jazz band and the director of the playhouse asked any of the apprentices if they wanted to come in Sunday and work, bc technically we had Sunday off so i volunteered and they put me doing the lights for the show

me: oh i see

 J: so then Howard was their stage manager and had to talk to me about the lights

  so he comes back stage and he yelled "so who is doing the lights?" and i come out of the corner and was like "umm me"

 me: um yes and talked about more than lights i suspect\

 J: and we just talked the whole night

 me: yes

 J: that was it. And we connected through email and stuff. And then right as he left he   called me and we talked for like an hour and we just talked

 me: so when were you with him after summer

 J: well

 me: yes?

 J: it was towards the end of the summer

 me: in CT?

 J: he was traveling a lot so i hardly saw him but we talked for 3 years

 me: yes

J: and i saw him about 8 times maybe

 me: wow worse then us so J tell me

 J: what?

 me: was this an intense relationship - like this was about love - real love

 J: yes he was my first love

 me: true love

 J: yes first true love

 me: you really fell

 J: yes i fell hard

 me: like committed

 J: yes did not cheat on him except with VT boy but i told him about him

 me: yes he was older than you right

 J: yes he was 28 when i met him

 me: you were 18  that summer

 J: i was 17

 me: when you met

 J: yes

 me: ok when you met so when did he and you get to first make love to each other

J: wait i might have been 16 summer of 2002

 me: oh like baby and he 28

 J: ok i was 16 - we had sex when i was 18

 me: yes an that is summer you met him

J: or i may have been 19

 me: but he goes away so when did you first make love to him and where

 J: it was at his hotel in NYC downtown east village

 me: 2002 you were not 19

 J: 2002 i me him. i had sex with him when i was a freshman in college

 me: when in relation to summer

J: so that was 2005

 me: so several yrs later

 J: yes

 me: like 3 years

 J: yes

 me: at 19

 J: it was February

 me: right had already done ski boy sort of

 J: yes

 me: and is Collin around now

 J: um yes and no i think he was just after. i forget

 me: kk.  no matter.  Collin you did not have an intense love for

 J: no he was nice but it was just that he was cool and stuff but not BF material

 me: So 2002 you meet Howard in Ct

 J: yes

 me: You immediately fall in love

 J: yes

 me: You keep in touch for 3 years

 J: yes

 me: till 2005 year after you graduated HS

 J: end of my freshman year in college. i graduated HS in 2004

 me: You have lost virginity earlier

 J: yes lost virginity the December i was a senior in High school

 me: yes 2005 is year after  yes 2004. So in 2005 you finally come together with Howard whom you love intensely

 J: yes

 me: and you meet him in hotel in NYC

 J: yes

 me: you want him badly does he make first move or do you

 J: hold on have to pee. we both knew it was going to happen we had dinner before

 me: great timing!!!!!!!!!!! ok i will pick up when you come back

J: ok m back

 me: ok so you and he arrange to meet each other in NYC in Feb 2005 - after keeping in touch by email etc. And he takes you to dinner right

 J: it wasn’t like the first time we were meeting i saw him times before but we never did it or did anything

 me: ok

 J: yes i meet him at a restaurant

 me: so now feelings have grown more intense

J: yes

 me: and had you made up your mind to have sex with him this time

 J: oh yes i brought condoms and all

 me: wow. k so you really wanted this

 J: yes

 me: hum ok. So did you explicitly say anything to him?

 J: not really. i don’t remember

 me: ok so you do go back to hotel

 J: yes

 me: and enter room then what

J: i told him i brought condoms and he laughed

 me: did he take you in his arms and kiss you

 J: and then he showed me the view in the room

 me: what?????????? ok

 J: and then we made out

 me: on sofa or bed

 J: on bed we had a small room

 me: kk. so did he like start to strip you some shirt bra etc

 J: it was mutual nothing special

 me: you took his clothes off first

 J: I don’t remember

 J: I think we helped each other

 me: ok so did you like take his underpants off or did he

 J: I think I took them down

me: and did you take his prick in your mouth then

J: maybe

 me: and suck on him

 J: I really don’t remember

 me: maybe?  Ok. And he goes between your legs

 J: yes

me: and panties are off by now

 J: he ate me out first

 me: yes

 J: I had a thong on

 me: and you were like totally over the top. Did he take thong off of you?

 J: yes

me: better that anything you have ever experienced

J: it was ok

 me: and you felt really good

 J: I was still tight

 me: good

 J: i was mostly nervous

 me: your hole  oh ok -  but liked it and him'

 J: I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. Yes liked it and him

 me: and did he nibble your clit

 J: umm not sure

 me: and tongue fuck you?

 J: don’t think he did that I think he just licked

 me: so he must be really hard by now so did you put condom on him

 J: yes

 me: and then he gets between your legs (did he lift them up?)

 J: no he did not do that

me: oh but you were very wet

 J: I don’t remember. at that time I did not know a girl gets wet

 me: and he put his prick inside you - slowly or one thrust

J: slow

 me: and felt ok

 J: it hurt

 me: oh

 J: but was ok.  I knew it would. I was technically a virgin. Only had done it once

  me: So does he go slowly or fast in and out of you? Does it get more comfortable?

 J: he does it slowly

 me: um and for you this is a pretty defining moment BC this is someone you love it is not some experiment

 J: ha the band is playing the 27th of March at Symphony Hall

me: what????? his

 J: and at the Blue Note in NYC right after that

 me: wait are we still in middle of the fuck or what

 J: hahah ok fine. it was slow. he knew what he was dealing with

 me: you

 J: as he was climaxing he went a little faster. it was good but it hurt me

 me: is he making you happy J?

 J: bc I was way tight.  Yes he made me happy.  I was still nervous around him

 me: yes. Did he take long to cum - was it too long for you

 J: no was not too long

me: so after he came what? Did he hold you tight?

 J: yes we cuddled

 me: did you sleep

 J: yes

 me: and did you stay the night

 J: yes

 me: and you did it many times

 J: I had a dorm so did not have to answer to mommy. Um no - then in the morning

 me: yes -  what in the morning

 J: we did it again

 me: only twice

 J: ya

 me: um  Did you blow him that night

 J: blow?

 me: blow - bj

 J: um i think i just sucked him but he did not cum that way

  me: only inside you

 J: yes

 me: so you must have been so so happy and content you had consummated with your lover - with someone you really really loved very deeply

J: yes

 me: when did you do it again?

 J: what do you mean?

 me: did you see much of him now after this night and morning when did you tow hook up again for sex

 J: no we broke up

 me: was he in town -   WHAT???? only after this

 J: yes he we talked for like a week then did not hear from him