Sunday 22 January 2017

STRACHEY - Facétie – 1916 – EXCERPT II






“Such a very extraordinary thing has just happened, and I must write and tell you at once, as I am dying to know what you will think about it. I can’t understand it at all. It’s about Mr. Mapleton – that is partly – do you remember that I said that I thought he was in love with me because he avoided me so? Well now I don’t think that can be it…

… I was surprised by hearing someone talking…and then I suddenly recognised that it was Mr. Mapleton’s voice that was talking, but not at all his usual voice, and it was all quite dark… I only half heard it really, because it was so mubbling and indistinct and it seemed so funny and extraordinary. I’m sure he was making love. He kept on saying ‘I love you more than anyone in the world’ and things like that, and ‘Do you – love me as much as I( love you?’ a great mant times, and ‘You’re the most beautiful creature in the world, how can you be so beautiful?’ and ‘My dearest dearest angel’, and things like that…Of course I couldn’t imagine who he was talking to,…- and then I was just wondering whether perhaps it was Carrie, when somebody else said ‘Darling – darling’ – just like that, and my dear, it was Godfrey [her younger brother] That gave me such a jump that I very nearly dropped all my books - … but I luckily  didn’t… I made out that Godfrey’s voice must have come from behind a screen…so I stretched out as far as I could, and just managed to see round the screen to the sofa. And Mr. Mapleton was there too, with his arm round Godfrey’s neck and they were kissing and their hair was all tousled, but the most extraordinary thing of all was thar their buttons  were so much undone that their shirts were coming out. Wasn’t it too peculiar for words?”  

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