Narrative - Commentary – Dialogue
him: It was a cold March morning in NYC. She walked
briskly bent against the wind which seemed to cut through every piece of
clothing she wore
Julie: ohhh
yes i know that feeling
him: She has
a mission - she needed to reach Boston
that day without fail
Julie: yes damn straight
him: As she
turned the corner she saw the bus waiting a half block ahead. She could not wait to reach the
warmth of its interior - she needed to sleep. she was up at five this morning
and for her that was a minor miracle. But her need had driven her - she know
she needed to rescue the one relationship in her life that made any sense the
one relationship that had any good in it
Julie: ha
yes was a miracle - yes i need my baby - will do anything
him: She
needed to hang onto the one love that had finally satisfied her deep hunger and
needs
Julie:
yesssssssss
him: His
bitter words still rung in her ears and her tears still came too easily as she
made her way to the bus that would hopefully save her life and her love.
Julie: aww
baby don’t hurt her
him: She was
there and she felt a sense of relief as she climbed the stairs to the warmth of
the bus. The warm struck her and she was reminded of his warmth - as his arms
enveloped her so many times before
Julie: yes love being in his arms
him: If only
if only --- she found a seat and an aisle
to herself. As she settled into her seat she compulsively checked her phone to
see if he had texted. He always texted - he was compulsive about being in touch
and connected.
But as she glances at the screen there was nothing
Julie: why don’t
you text
him: This
could mean only one thing and her tears returned silently
DO you like it thus far???
Julie: no
him: why
Julie: bc i
do not want to ever lose you like that
him: it may
have a happy ending
Julie: but
your being mean to her and i woke up early for you
him: no you
I have to go with the dramatic flow
Julie: ok
him: well ok
enough for now. Will continue it and send it to you and we can workshop it
Julie: why
not finish it
or continue
him: um well
may be a very long story are you willing to wait on it ?
Julie: ok sure we
will continue later
him: later
or now what do you wish
Julie:
whatever you wish
him: ok lets
go on a bit
Julie: ok
him:
at least get her to Boston
Julie: ok good
him: The
screen was blank - even her tears could not obscure that fact! She knew what
that meant what it always meant. He was angry and his anger had not abated.
Julie: no it
had not the stubborn little bastard
him: He left
her last night and the parting words rang in her ears like sour gongs and
bells.
[No editorial comment pls]
Julie: yes ok fine
him: Yet here
she was on her way to Boston. He did not text and she told herself that he was
still wallowing in his bitterness and anger. That was his way not to text when
he always did.
Julie: yes
him: The bus
came to life she could feel the throb of the engine-s he turned her face to the
window and surveyed the grey morning - ashes to match the ashes in her heart
Julie: ya
him: They
moved out onto the road. Soon the warmth, her tiredness and the throb and
motion of the buss lulled her into a forgetful sleep
Julie: yes
it does
all the time
him: She did
not (I am basing this on real life experience like yours) dream but was as if
dead and devoid of thought
Julie: hm
yes although sometimes i have dreams where i am talking to you
him: She
woke at Hartford. Her neck (we can revise later) ached from the sleeping
position she had occupied her eyes were sandy and caked from her tears and her
mouth dry and like cotton.
Julie: yes so perfect - you
know what goes on - like you are the bus with him
him: She reached for the water she had packed and drank
deeply - thinking how after they had made love she offered him the bottle of
water to drink from and then she would drink herself.
Julie: aww
him: The memory
only served to sadden her as she thought of him and the words the many words
that had passed between them the night before - bitter words - sweet words
angry words - silence so much silence
Julie: so
sad
him: (Do you
think essay teacher would like this??)
Julie: sure
she would love it
him: ok
Julie: its
very good
him: The bus
ran forward on its inexorable march to Boston taking her to that crises that
would either make her so incredibly happy or so profoundly miserable. If only
he would forgive her - if only he would open his eyes and his heart and see
that she had meant no harm - it was meaningless it was stupid it had no real meaning.
Why did he insist on being so narrow so closed so fixed in his own opinions?
Julie: baby this could happen
him: HOW???
Julie: i am saying it is really realistic
him: well based on life
I am trying to write it well
sex parts will be the best yet
Julie: it is
good and effective
ha
yes
i am waiting for those
him: ok well
tomorrow - and running out of stream
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
+Fall+leaf.jpg)
