PORTRAIT of AN AFFAIR
IN CONVERSATION
Part III
THE AFFAIR III
OUR
PLEDGES
&
STORIES
SHE BTOLD ME
Commitment
I pledge myself to you -
to take you as only mine and mine only.I invest you with my love –
I give you my open heart for friendship.
I give you my openness, my trust, my whole self
I take you into my world
I ask you take me into yours
I seal you with my body. L
*******************************
I pledge my love to you eternallyI will never be your wife, daughter,
sister or anything that constitutes a legal bond
I will be something that is much closer,
Someone who would love you like a wife
Would honor you as a daughter should,
support you as though you are my own family.
I will be all of this to you. But most of all I
Promise to give you my love in friendship. I will
Listen and understand you; kiss you and hold you.
I will carry you and be with you until the end;
I will not rest until I know you are content and safe.
I promise to be yours forever. J
STORIES SHE TOLD ME
I. Howard’s
Story – First True Love
me:
Ta - So where did you meet Howard - at theater stuff?
J:
yes met him at the Westport Playhouse
me:
That is what i thought is that where you met Dylan also
J:
yes but Dylan worked there
me:
but you were in HS right? Howard did not work there?
J:
no he was just passing by
me:
and you happened to bump into him?
J:
sort of
me:
Oh hello who might you be??? tell me story
J:
well it was a Sunday show
me:
yes
J:
and every Sunday they did music
me:
ok
J:
and that particular Sunday it was Preservation Hall Jazz band and the director
of the playhouse asked any of the apprentices if they wanted to come in Sunday
and work, bc technically we had Sunday off so i volunteered and they put me
doing the lights for the show
me:
oh i see
J:
so then Howard was their stage manager and had to talk to me about the lights
so
he comes back stage and he yelled "so who is doing the lights?" and i
come out of the corner and was like "umm me"
me:
um yes and talked about more than lights i suspect\
J:
and we just talked the whole night
me:
yes
J:
that was it. And we connected through email and stuff. And then right as he
left he called me and we talked for
like an hour and we just talked
me:
so when were you with him after summer
J:
well
me:
yes?
J:
it was towards the end of the summer
me:
in CT?
J:
he was traveling a lot so i hardly saw him but we talked for 3 years
me:
yes
J:
and i saw him about 8 times maybe
me:
wow worse then us so J tell me
J:
what?
me:
was this an intense relationship - like this was about love - real love
J:
yes he was my first love
me:
true love
J:
yes first true love
me:
you really fell
J:
yes i fell hard
me:
like committed
J:
yes did not cheat on him except with VT boy but i told him about him
me:
yes he was older than you right
J:
yes he was 28 when i met him
me:
you were 18 that summer
J:
i was 17
me:
when you met
J:
yes
me:
ok when you met so when did he and you get to first make love to each other
J:
wait i might have been 16 summer of 2002
me:
oh like baby and he 28
J:
ok i was 16 - we had sex when i was 18
me:
yes an that is summer you met him
J:
or i may have been 19
me:
but he goes away so when did you first make love to him and where
J:
it was at his hotel in NYC downtown east village
me:
2002 you were not 19
J:
2002 i me him. i had sex with him when i was a freshman in college
me:
when in relation to summer
J:
so that was 2005
me:
so several yrs later
J:
yes
me:
like 3 years
J:
yes
me:
at 19
J:
it was February
me:
right had already done ski boy sort of
J:
yes
me:
and is Collin around now
J: um yes and no i
think he was just after. i forget
me:
kk. no matter. Collin
you did not have an intense love for
J:
no he was nice but
it was just that he was cool and stuff but not BF material
me:
So 2002 you meet Howard in Ct
J:
yes
me:
You immediately fall in love
J:
yes
me:
You keep in touch for 3 years
J:
yes
me:
till 2005 year after you graduated HS
J:
end of my freshman year in college. i
graduated HS in 2004
me:
You have lost virginity earlier
J:
yes lost virginity the December i was a senior in High school
me:
yes 2005 is year after yes 2004. So in
2005 you finally come together with Howard whom you love intensely
J:
yes
me:
and you meet him in hotel in NYC
J:
yes
me:
you want him badly does he make first move or do you
J:
hold on have to pee. we both knew it was going to happen we had dinner before
me:
great timing!!!!!!!!!!! ok i will pick up when you come back
J:
ok m back
me:
ok so you and he arrange to meet each other in NYC in Feb 2005 - after keeping
in touch by email etc. And he takes you to dinner right
J:
it wasn’t like the first time we were meeting i saw him times before but we
never did it or did anything
me:
ok
J:
yes i meet him at a restaurant
me:
so now feelings have grown more intense
J:
yes
me:
and had you made up your mind to have sex with him this time
J:
oh yes i brought condoms and all
me:
wow. k so you really wanted this
J:
yes
me:
hum ok. So did you explicitly say anything to him?
J:
not really. i don’t remember
me:
ok so you do go back to hotel
J:
yes
me:
and enter room then what
J:
i told him i brought condoms and he laughed
me:
did he take you in his arms and kiss you
J:
and then he showed me the view in the room
me:
what?????????? ok
J:
and then we made out
me:
on sofa or bed
J:
on bed we had a small room
me:
kk. so did he like start to strip you some shirt bra etc
J:
it was mutual nothing special
me:
you took his clothes off first
J:
I don’t remember
J:
I think we helped each other
me:
ok so did you like take his underpants off or did he
J:
I think I took them down
me:
and did you take his prick in your mouth then
J:
maybe
me:
and suck on him
J:
I really don’t remember
me:
maybe? Ok. And he goes between your
legs
J:
yes
me:
and panties are off by now
J:
he ate me out first
me:
yes
J:
I had a thong on
me:
and you were like totally over the top. Did he take thong off of you?
J:
yes
me:
better that anything you have ever experienced
J:
it was ok
me:
and you felt really good
J:
I was still tight
me:
good
J:
i was mostly nervous
me:
your hole oh ok - but liked it and him'
J:
I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. Yes liked it and him
me:
and did he nibble your clit
J:
umm not sure
me:
and tongue fuck you?
J:
don’t think he did that I think he just licked
me:
so he must be really hard by now so did you put condom on him
J:
yes
me:
and then he gets between your legs (did he lift them up?)
J:
no he did not do that
me:
oh but you were very wet
J:
I don’t remember. at that time I did not know a girl gets wet
me:
and he put his prick inside you - slowly or one thrust
J:
slow
me:
and felt ok
J:
it hurt
me:
oh
J:
but was ok. I knew it would. I was
technically a virgin. Only had done it once
me:
So does he go slowly or fast in and out of you? Does it get more comfortable?
J:
he does it slowly
me:
um and for you this is a pretty defining moment BC this is someone you love it
is not some experiment
J:
ha the band is playing the 27th of March at Symphony Hall
me:
what????? his
J:
and at the Blue Note in NYC right after that
me:
wait are we still in middle of the fuck or what
J:
hahah ok fine. it was slow. he knew what he
was dealing with
me:
you
J:
as he was climaxing he went a little faster. it was good but it hurt me
me:
is he making you happy J?
J:
bc I was way tight. Yes he made me
happy. I was still nervous around him
me:
yes. Did he take long to cum - was it too long for you
J:
no was not too long
me:
so after he came what? Did he hold you tight?
J:
yes we cuddled
me:
did you sleep
J:
yes
me:
and did you stay the night
J:
yes
me:
and you did it many times
J:
I had a dorm so did not have to answer to mommy. Um no - then in the morning
me:
yes - what in the morning
J:
we did it again
me:
only twice
J:
ya
me:
um Did you blow him that night
J:
blow?
me:
blow - bj
J:
um i think i just sucked him but he did not cum that way
me:
only inside you
J:
yes
me:
so you must have been so so happy and content you had consummated with your
lover - with someone you really really loved very deeply
J:
yes
me:
when did you do it again?
J:
what do you mean?
me:
did you see much of him now after this night and morning when did you tow hook
up again for sex
J:
no we broke up
me:
was he in town - WHAT???? only
after this
J:
yes he we talked for like a week then did not hear from him
PORTRAIT of AN AFFAIR
IN CONVERSATION
Part II
THE AFFAIR III
OUR
PLEDGES
&
STORIES
SHE BTOLD ME
Commitment
I pledge myself to you -
to take you as only mine and mine only.
I invest you with my love –
I give you my open heart for friendship.
I give you my openness, my trust, my whole self
I take you into my world
I ask you take me into yours
I seal you with my body. L
*******************************
I pledge my love to you eternally
I will never be your wife, daughter,
sister or anything that
constitutes a legal bond
I will be something that is much closer,
Someone who would love you like a wife
Would honor you as a daughter should,
support you as though you are my own family.
I will be all of this to you. But most of all I
Promise to give you my love in friendship. I will
Listen and understand you; kiss you and hold you.
I will carry you and be with you until the end;
I will not rest until I
know you are content and safe.
I promise to be yours forever. J
STORIES SHE TOLD ME
I.Howard’s
Story – First True Love
me:
Ta - So where did you meet Howard - at theater stuff?
J:
yes met him at the Westport Playhouse
me:
That is what i thought is that where you met Dylan also
J:
yes but Dylan worked there
me:
but you were in HS right? Howard did not work there?
J:
no he was just passing by
me:
and you happened to bump into him?
J:
sort of
me:
Oh hello who might you be??? tell me story
J:
well it was a Sunday show
me:
yes
J:
and every Sunday they did music
me:
ok
J:
and that particular Sunday it was Preservation Hall Jazz band and the director
of the playhouse asked any of the apprentices if they wanted to come in Sunday
and work, bc technically we had Sunday off so i volunteered and they put me
doing the lights for the show
me:
oh i see
J:
so then Howard was their stage manager and had to talk to me about the lights
so
he comes back stage and he yelled "so who is doing the lights?" and i
come out of the corner and was like "umm me"
me:
um yes and talked about more than lights i suspect\
J:
and we just talked the whole night
me:
yes
J:
that was it. And we connected through email and stuff. And then right as he
left he called me and we talked for
like an hour and we just talked
me:
so when were you with him after summer
J:
well
me:
yes?
J:
it was towards the end of the summer
me:
in CT?
J:
he was traveling a lot so i hardly saw him but we talked for 3 years
me:
yes
J:
and i saw him about 8 times maybe
me:
wow worse then us so J tell me
J:
what?
me:
was this an intense relationship - like this was about love - real love
J:
yes he was my first love
me:
true love
J:
yes first true love
me:
you really fell
J:
yes i fell hard
me:
like committed
J:
yes did not cheat on him except with VT boy but i told him about him
me:
yes he was older than you right
J:
yes he was 28 when i met him
me:
you were 18 that summer
J:
i was 17
me:
when you met
J:
yes
me:
ok when you met so when did he and you get to first make love to each other
J:
wait i might have been 16 summer of 2002
me:
oh like baby and he 28
J:
ok i was 16 - we had sex when i was 18
me:
yes an that is summer you met him
J:
or i may have been 19
me:
but he goes away so when did you first make love to him and where
J:
it was at his hotel in NYC downtown east village
me:
2002 you were not 19
J:
2002 i me him. i had sex with him when i was a freshman in college
me:
when in relation to summer
J:
so that was 2005
me:
so several yrs later
J:
yes
me:
like 3 years
J:
yes
me:
at 19
J:
it was February
me:
right had already done ski boy sort of
J:
yes
me:
and is Collin around now
J: um yes and no i
think he was just after. i forget
me:
kk. no matter. Collin
you did not have an intense love for
J:
no he was nice but
it was just that he was cool and stuff but not BF material
me:
So 2002 you meet Howard in Ct
J:
yes
me:
You immediately fall in love
J:
yes
me:
You keep in touch for 3 years
J:
yes
me:
till 2005 year after you graduated HS
J:
end of my freshman year in college. i
graduated HS in 2004
me:
You have lost virginity earlier
J:
yes lost virginity the December i was a senior in High school
me:
yes 2005 is year after yes 2004. So in
2005 you finally come together with Howard whom you love intensely
J:
yes
me:
and you meet him in hotel in NYC
J:
yes
me:
you want him badly does he make first move or do you
J:
hold on have to pee. we both knew it was going to happen we had dinner before
me:
great timing!!!!!!!!!!! ok i will pick up when you come back
J:
ok m back
me:
ok so you and he arrange to meet each other in NYC in Feb 2005 - after keeping
in touch by email etc. And he takes you to dinner right
J:
it wasn’t like the first time we were meeting i saw him times before but we
never did it or did anything
me:
ok
J:
yes i meet him at a restaurant
me:
so now feelings have grown more intense
J:
yes
me:
and had you made up your mind to have sex with him this time
J:
oh yes i brought condoms and all
me:
wow. k so you really wanted this
J:
yes
me:
hum ok. So did you explicitly say anything to him?
J:
not really. i don’t remember
me:
ok so you do go back to hotel
J:
yes
me:
and enter room then what
J:
i told him i brought condoms and he laughed
me:
did he take you in his arms and kiss you
J:
and then he showed me the view in the room
me:
what?????????? ok
J:
and then we made out
me:
on sofa or bed
J:
on bed we had a small room
me:
kk. so did he like start to strip you some shirt bra etc
J:
it was mutual nothing special
me:
you took his clothes off first
J:
I don’t remember
J:
I think we helped each other
me:
ok so did you like take his underpants off or did he
J:
I think I took them down
me:
and did you take his prick in your mouth then
J:
maybe
me:
and suck on him
J:
I really don’t remember
me:
maybe? Ok. And he goes between your
legs
J:
yes
me:
and panties are off by now
J:
he ate me out first
me:
yes
J:
I had a thong on
me:
and you were like totally over the top. Did he take thong off of you?
J:
yes
me:
better that anything you have ever experienced
J:
it was ok
me:
and you felt really good
J:
I was still tight
me:
good
J:
i was mostly nervous
me:
your hole oh ok - but liked it and him'
J:
I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. Yes liked it and him
me:
and did he nibble your clit
J:
umm not sure
me:
and tongue fuck you?
J:
don’t think he did that I think he just licked
me:
so he must be really hard by now so did you put condom on him
J:
yes
me:
and then he gets between your legs (did he lift them up?)
J:
no he did not do that
me:
oh but you were very wet
J:
I don’t remember. at that time I did not know a girl gets wet
me:
and he put his prick inside you - slowly or one thrust
J:
slow
me:
and felt ok
J:
it hurt
me:
oh
J:
but was ok. I knew it would. I was
technically a virgin. Only had done it once
me:
So does he go slowly or fast in and out of you? Does it get more comfortable?
J:
he does it slowly
me:
um and for you this is a pretty defining moment BC this is someone you love it
is not some experiment
J:
ha the band is playing the 27th of March at Symphony Hall
me:
what????? his
J:
and at the Blue Note in NYC right after that
me:
wait are we still in middle of the fuck or what
J:
hahah ok fine. it was slow. he knew what he
was dealing with
me:
you
J:
as he was climaxing he went a little faster. it was good but it hurt me
me:
is he making you happy J?
J:
bc I was way tight. Yes he made me
happy. I was still nervous around him
me:
yes. Did he take long to cum - was it too long for you
J:
no was not too long
me:
so after he came what? Did he hold you tight?
J:
yes we cuddled
me:
did you sleep
J:
yes
me:
and did you stay the night
J:
yes
me:
and you did it many times
J:
I had a dorm so did not have to answer to mommy. Um no - then in the morning
me:
yes - what in the morning
J:
we did it again
me:
only twice
J:
ya
me:
um Did you blow him that night
J:
blow?
me:
blow - bj
J:
um i think i just sucked him but he did not cum that way
me:
only inside you
J:
yes
me:
so you must have been so so happy and content you had consummated with your
lover - with someone you really really loved very deeply
J:
yes
me:
when did you do it again?
J:
what do you mean?
me:
did you see much of him now after this night and morning when did you tow hook
up again for sex
J:
no we broke up
me:
was he in town - WHAT???? only
after this
J:
yes he we talked for like a week then did not hear from him
